Things to giggle about but also apologize for: Throwing that lil mater off the back deck & hittin a mailbox

I bought a new Aerogarden. I already had one but I liked it so much that I bought the new “fancy” L.E.D model without the “WIFI” option. Don’t even get me started on the whole usage/running apps discussion! My head might explode! It’s a conspiracy. Just sayin!

Last week I fell asleep on the couch, and at 4 AM I was rather rudely and abruptly woken up by the most horrible screeching noise. Sadly, my pink shoes and Swiffer were nowhere in sight. I realized for some reason unbeknownst to me, my new ‘mater garden was in need of water. It protested as loudly as possible so that I had no choice but to address it immediately and in an orderly fashion. I ran to the kitchen, fumbled for a recyclable bottle, cursed out loud that I only had cat food cans, and a mangled diet coke bottle. Neither of them served my purpose. I genuinely debated as to whether or not I should shoot the kitchen sink sprayer thingy through the open kitchen wall cut out. Logic won out. This wasn’t the fair, though the prize of silence was truly golden in that moment. I decided not to risk it. I ran back and forth with my water filled diet coke bottle, filling as I went. The entire time I thought “dear God make that beast stop!” I just wanted to grow tomatoes! Help a gal out! Finally, golden silence.

Tonight, the screeching began again, and my brain went into motion. I thought about the L.E.D technology, evaporation points, water level, humidity, the velocity of an unlaiden sparrow & my favorite color. I’m hoping all of that will aid me in my call to customer service. Meanwhile I secretly plan on calling production of the filter. They need to go into business with manufacturers of jail ankle bracelets . It’s a win win. It’s do not pass go, do not collect $200.

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